Glossary

Psychological terms, defined carefully

Short definitions with links to the full explanation wherever one exists.

Affect labelling: Putting a feeling into words ('I'm feeling cornered'). Neuroimaging research by Lieberman and colleagues associated it with reduced amygdala activity and increased prefrontal activity; in practice, naming an emotion precisely tends to reduce its intensity and tells the other person what is happening without attacking them.; Read the full explanation →
Assertiveness: Expressing one's own needs, preferences and limits directly and respectfully, while recognising the rights of others. Distinct from both passivity and aggression; a learnable skill with a long practical literature.; Read the full explanation →
Attachment anxiety: One of the two main dimensions of adult attachment: the degree to which a person worries about a partner's availability and about rejection, and seeks closeness and reassurance urgently under uncertainty. A dimension, not a type.; Read the full explanation →
Attachment avoidance: The second main dimension of adult attachment: discomfort with closeness and dependence, and a tendency to regulate distress by creating distance and relying on oneself. Pairs with attachment anxiety to produce the pursue–withdraw cycle.; Read the full explanation →
Coercive control: A pattern of behaviour — isolation, intimidation, degradation, monitoring and regulation of everyday life — used to dominate a partner or family member. Described by Evan Stark; a criminal offence in England and Wales under the Serious Crime Act 2015, s. 76.; Read the full explanation →
Cognitive reappraisal: An emotion regulation strategy that changes the meaning given to a situation before the emotional response fully forms — for example reading a sharp remark as fear rather than contempt. In Gross's process model it acts early; habitual reappraisal is associated with better relationships and wellbeing than habitual suppression.; Read the full explanation →
Dark Triad: A label coined by Paulhus and Williams (2002) for three overlapping personality traits — narcissism, Machiavellianism and subclinical psychopathy — studied as dimensions in ordinary populations. They share a core of low agreeableness and low honesty-humility. Trait scores are not diagnoses.; Read the full explanation →
Deactivating strategies: In attachment research, the behaviours people high in attachment avoidance use to turn down the attachment system when closeness feels risky: minimising need, distancing, focusing on tasks, keeping options open and finding fault with a partner who gets too close. The counterpart of hyperactivating strategies.; Read the full explanation →
Demand–withdraw pattern: A conflict loop in which one partner presses for engagement or change and the other withdraws, each move provoking the next. Described by Christensen and Heavey; closely related to the anxious–avoidant cycle.; Read the full explanation →
Earned security: The research finding that adults with difficult early attachment histories can develop a secure attachment stance later, through relationships or therapy, and function as well in romantic relationships as those secure from the start (Roisman et al., 2002). Evidence that attachment patterns change.; Read the full explanation →
Flooding (physiological): A state during conflict in which heart rate and arousal rise sharply, attention narrows to threat and the capacity to listen or reason is largely lost. Described in Gottman and Levenson's observational research; recovery takes at least twenty minutes and does not happen while rehearsing the argument.; Read the full explanation →
Gaslighting: A repeated pattern of undermining another person's confidence in their own perception, memory or judgement, so that they come to rely on the gaslighter's version of reality. Distinct from ordinary disagreement, lying or forgetting, each of which can occur between honest people.; Read the full explanation →
Grandiose narcissism: The overt expression of narcissism: confidence, dominance, charm, entitlement and admiration-seeking. Correlates with extraversion and low neuroticism. One of two faces of the trait identified in the research, alongside vulnerable narcissism; neither is a diagnosis.; Read the full explanation →
Hyperactivating strategies: In attachment research, the behaviours people high in attachment anxiety use to get a response from a partner who has felt inconsistently available: intensifying distress, protesting, clinging and seeking reassurance.; Read the full explanation →
Intermittent reinforcement: A reward delivered unpredictably rather than every time. Behaviour maintained this way is more persistent and harder to extinguish — one of the most replicated findings in behavioural psychology, and the mechanism that makes hot-and-cold affection so hard to walk away from.; Read the full explanation →
Investment model: Caryl Rusbult's account of relationship commitment as a function of satisfaction, quality of alternatives and investment size. Explains why people remain in unsatisfying — and sometimes abusive — relationships when alternatives look poor and investments are large; applied to abusive relationships by Rusbult and Martz (1995).; Read the full explanation →
Love bombing: An early-relationship pattern of intense, idealising attention — constant contact, declarations, gifts, future plans — that later becomes conditional, inconsistent or is used as leverage. A popular term, not a clinical one; fast closeness alone does not qualify.; Read the full explanation →
Misinformation effect: The finding, from Elizabeth Loftus's research, that memory for an event can be altered by information encountered afterwards. Shows that human memory is reconstructive and that two honest people can sincerely remember the same event differently.; Read the full explanation →
Perfectionistic concerns: The costly dimension of perfectionism: concern over mistakes, doubts about actions, and the belief that others demand perfection (socially prescribed perfectionism). Distinguished from perfectionistic strivings (high standards), which on their own are largely benign. Meta-analyses link concerns to depression, anxiety and eating-disorder symptoms.; Read the full explanation →
Sensory processing sensitivity: A temperament trait proposed by Aron and Aron (1997) involving deeper processing of stimuli, stronger emotional reactivity, awareness of subtleties and ease of overstimulation — the research basis of the 'highly sensitive person'. Continuous rather than categorical; roughly three in ten adults score high.; Read the full explanation →
Sociotropy: An excessive investment in positive relationships with others — a strong need for approval and fear of disapproval and rejection — studied within cognitive therapy as a vulnerability to depression when relationships fail.; Read the full explanation →
Stonewalling: Withdrawing from a conversation — going silent, turning away, leaving — while the other person is still engaged, usually when physiologically flooded. One of Gottman's 'Four Horsemen'. Distinct from an announced break with a return time, which is its antidote.; Read the full explanation →
Traumatic bonding ("trauma bond"): A research concept (Dutton & Painter) describing the strong emotional attachment that can form in abusive relationships marked by a power imbalance and alternating kindness and mistreatment. Not a diagnosis; often used too loosely for any painful attachment.; Read the full explanation →
Unmitigated communion: A focus on others to the exclusion of the self — difficulty asserting one's own needs and over-involvement in others' problems. Distinguished by Helgeson and Fritz from healthy communion; the closest research construct to the everyday 'people pleaser'.; Read the full explanation →
Vulnerable narcissism: The covert expression of narcissism: hypersensitivity to criticism, shame, envy, resentment and withdrawal, organised around the same core of entitled self-importance as the grandiose form. Correlates with neuroticism, low self-esteem and insecure attachment. Identified by Pincus's Pathological Narcissism Inventory; not a diagnosis.; Read the full explanation →